I don't get writer's block. I get Creative Impotence. It's true. I've mentioned this a couple of times to a few freelance writing friends and they stare at me like I just farted and didn't excuse myself. But that's the only way I can describe it. When I can't write, I can't do anything. There is no, "well, I'll just work on my blog for a few hours" or "where's that journal? That'll do it!" None of that. I can't cook; I can't dream, fantasize or color. That part of my brain just refuses to function and it rebels!
Nor do I recommend ideas that you will usually read in articles similar to this one. I don't take a walk or work out to clear my head. All that does is frustrate me because I could be using that time working, and let's face it; if you're a freelance writer all that time not writing is truly money being lost. I do work out but that's because I would be highly embarrassed if I made someone vomit at the beach.
Nor do I tell people to get a piece of paper and brainstorm ideas until you work through their block. "There you go, ole' chap! Being productive!" Seriously? Blrrp! If I did that I would just end up with a series of stick figures (usually a pirate ship themed scene) and, again, more frustrated.
The truth is that writer's block sucks. Sorry. There is no way to dilly-dally around the truth of the matter. It's going to hurt. It's going to piss you off. For me, the secret to working through it is by unconventional means. I fight my Creative Impotence with mental guerilla-warfare. All I can suggest is whooping some butt and waiting it out. Here are five ways I do it.
Fire the Muse!
You heard me. Whatever has been giving you inspiration and motivation up to that point has suddenly left, gone to sleep or is sitting in the corner with his arms folded and a frown. (Like Stephen King, my muse is a man.) So to hell with him! I fire his ass. I say it out loud to an empty sofa, all Trumped up-"You're fired!" and wait for a fill in from the temp service.
Play with your Bird…
…or, whatever family pet there is around the house or apartment. I play with my Quaker parrot Boom Boom. This works for me because if I were to spend time with a human my paranoia would set in and I would imagine them thinking, "Hmmph…and he calls himself a writer. Why isn't he writing now!?" I know that with Boom Boom he (or she) doesn't think that. In fact Booms is probably happy to see me away from the keyboard and singing Black Eyed Peas to him. Humans need real attention. Animals only need what they think is attention. It helps pass the time.
Scream
Do it! But know this isn't going to solve any creativity issues. It will make you feel better and cause quizzical, worried looks from nearby folk (especially if you do it in a crowded Starbucks) and might make your head hurt. But it won't help the block. It just releases some of the frustration.
Read Blogs or Accounts of Writer's Block
And laugh maniacally because you know their pain! It's alright, don't feel bad. They're probably doing the same to you. At the very least they're thinking "that bites" and then they go back to their project-making money and being productive. It's ok. They'll be in the same boat again very soon. Misery loves company, after all.
Just Write, Meathead!
It doesn't matter what you write about. Get in front of the keyboard, search for a published speech that was given at a tax seminar and transcribe it, but have fun with it. When you see the word "tax", instead of writing it substitute if with another word like "jello-shots". It can be pretty fun. Again, I don't think this helps creativity come out of the closet but it passes time.
Like I stated before, writer's block sucks. Creative Impotence is a catastrophic event for freelance writers. Which is kind of weird because we are usually given a subject. Go figure! Writer's Block just takes time to work through, though. There are no "secrets". Just constantly remind yourself that you are a writer. You always have been. You will be again. It will end. Then you can go back to trying to find some work.
No comments:
Post a Comment